The Night of the Hunter was a Back-When-America-Was-Great-Again documentary about owls. It stars The Cologne Guy and the mother from Silence of the Hams.

Watch your kerning.

I know, how do you have starring roles in a documentary that is ridiculous because HOLLLYWOOD THAT'S WHY STAR SYSTEM!

A sub plot is about the trials and tribulations of

Nope

an itinerant preacher who is just as qualified as Franklin Graham to pontificate on what the bearded sky man wants or doesn't want for anyone.

two corinthians, bitches

There was also something about ice cream? A shop of some kind? Also: labor laws and why we need unions.

Incarnate Evil (left), and the Reverend Harry Powell (right)

Not pictured: any discussion of comprehensive sex education.

Seriously

I give this movie 3.14 Them Apples