“ok, that's badass”

I thought this at mile 11 when I noticed a runner beside me wearing sandals. the big incline was just starting and we were both slowing down. the surge from seeing my family was long gone and it was time to find a distraction to take my mind off of numbers and time and weather.

“ok, that's badass” 

I said this at mile 11 and runner 1903 told me that they helped her back pain by allowing her feet to land more naturally and I can confidently say that talking about shoes and gait and foot strike actually helped my mind focus on something other than the pull of self doubt and fear I felt looming inside.

each of us was feeling the distance now, so we spent several miles sharing our experiences - she ran 200 miles in The Congo (again, badass), I served the last week on jury duty (anger and sadness inducing frustration). 

she wore a Palestinian flag and ACAB was given pride of place on her back. I had written “whale sounds” on one arm and hastily scrawled “patience” on the other. 

we walked a bit, we ran a bit. we walked a bit more, we ran when we saw people cheering. eventually we slowed and running seemed like a distant memory. 

she told me earlier that when we met she had been thinking about quitting. she told me now 

“we've come this far, we've got this”

as the finish dragged closer I was cramping more and more and I knew I wouldn't have made the last miles on my own. 

i would have been done. 

thanks, cait 1903.

for pulling me through.

because i want to feel something.

the kool-aid man has no blood/brain barrier 

did you ever have a recurring dream - mine is that i can't lock a door - and then one night you have that dream only this time you ask someone IN THE DREAM about the problem? "look, this shows locked but i can do this?" and they check it out and show you "it's separated from the jamb"

anyways, this is the therapy i can afford 

if you think about it, midilchlorians are just heart worms.

palapatine is NOT ovaltine with pulp i know this now

well, it was pretty great until about the last mile or so.

i am just as awkward as i look

considering i had been awake since 2:30am, i thought i was feeling pretty ready.

haha there ain't no roads here

the drive to beaver was appropriately spooky with low clouds and fog along the river and wow that's a lot of train cars.

i may have made sub-optimal nutrition choices. i see that now.

i did a few things right: i didn't go off too fast, kept my heart rate in check (even unlocked a garmin max heart rate boost to 184 WOO), and really had a lot of fun just plowing through all the water and mud

end of race fit check

however, it wasn't all puppy dogs and rainbows. a couple of things i could have done better:

• double tie shoelaces
• drink more electrolytes or use salt tabs
• spend more(!) time at aid stations to enjoy the vibe and have real food (pierogies!)
• stop and take pictures!

even with all that, i think i did okay.

in fact, I KNOW I DID. LOOK AT THAT - I DON'T SMILE EVER

got that bread, hell yeah